Sep 05 / Simcha

It’s OK to be Average (L. Wieseltier)

averageAs long as we are on the topic of overcoming diversity and dealing with failure (see my recent post on Spanx and Failure), I thought I’d share a different angle that resonated strongly with me. 

Leon Wieseltier, literary editor of The New Republic, finds himself deeply uncomfortable with the many claims heard by the successful (such as that of Oprah Winfrey in her recent address to the graduating class at Harvard) that “there is no such thing as failure.”  The success stories put forth, he suggests, reflect not a triumph of inner resources, but yet another example of the “triumph of outer resources — a common confusion [among people] at the top.”

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Aug 31 / Simcha

Building Self-Esteem in Your Children: A simple tip

Click on image to view video

In this video clip from her show, Oprah Winfrey shares an aha! moment when interviewing author Toni Morrison (author of The Bluest Eye, Sula, Song of Solomon and Beloved) in 2000.

Appreciation and validation build our sense of importance and security in the world. Does your face light up when you see your children? Here is one simple way to validate your child, to let him/her know s/he is loved and appreciated.

 

Aug 26 / Simcha

On Spanx and Letting Your Kids Fail

spanxEntrepreneur Sara Blakely transformed $5,000 in savings into a $500 million dollar-a-year company called Spanx, and in so doing revolutionized women’s undergarments in the process. She had never taken a business class in her life, and had never worked in the fashion or retail industries.

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Aug 24 / Simcha

Love: An Opiate-Mediated Experience? (H. Milkman)

lovebrainIn an article in Psychology Today (12.4.2009) entitled What Makes Tigers Jump?, Professor of Psychology Harvey Milkman* looks at the much-discussed phenomenon of “love addiction,” clinically labelled “hysteroid dysphoria” by the New York State Psychiatric Insitute in 1979. Clinicians at the Institute labelled as a disorder a chronic and intense form of lovesickness  they were observing with surprising frequency in the course of their psychiatric practice; the disorder was characterized by depression, depletion of energy, and increased appetite in response to feelings of rejection.

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Aug 12 / Simcha

Must We Forgive Abusive Parents? (E. Yoffe)

Illustration: Charlie Powell, The Slate
Illustration:  Charlie Powell,
The Slate, 2.18.13

The relationship of adult children to their abusive parents gets little attention in the psychiatric literature.  In an article in The Slate (The Debt, 2.18.13), columnist Emily Yoffe asks what grown children owe terrible, abusive parents when the latter come crawling back, often elderly, feeble and needy; she offers her take on forgiveness.  The following is a selection from her longer article.

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Jul 15 / Simcha

Criticism: Kiss of Death

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Click on detail to view complete Sipress cartoon

Can it be said enough times?  Criticizing, nagging, fault-finding, accusing — these are behaviors that represent the largest predictors of divorce.  While partners often nag, criticize and point fingers as a way to ask for help with housework or childcare or to urge a partner to be more responsible with money, it is an ineffective way to communicate needs and wishes.  It instead leads to a “shutting down” that deepens resentment, estrangement and disconnection.

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