Oct 10 / Simcha

Lust Diminishes, but Love Remains (E. Svoboda)

Good relationships are vital for a healthy life. And healthy connections provide some of the best opportunities to grow in meaningful ways.  In a lovely piece entitled Lessons For Living in the most recent edition of Psychology Today, Elizabeth Svoboda proposes five principles for living, loving, and playing well with others.

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Sep 27 / Simcha

Please Don’t Leave Me….

When our fear of being deserted by our loved ones moves beyond the natural fear of loss, it can begin to undermine and damage those very relationships we most fear losing. Thoughts of being alone can trigger compulsive behaviors so severe and unsettling that they begin to interfere with our daily lives.

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Aug 13 / Simcha

Bringing Lust Home (E. Perel)

I quite enjoyed the following conversation (2007) between journalist Jesse Kornbluth and psychologist Esther Perel concerning the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire and what it takes to bring lust home. Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel examined the complexities of sustaining desire in her warmly-received book Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence.

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Aug 12 / Simcha

Surviving the "Squeeze" (according to Buddhist teaching)

In her popular book, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times (Shambhala Classics, 2000), renowned American Buddhist nun and spiritual teacher Pema Chödrön (born Deirdre Blomfield-Brown) offers words of wisdom for going on living when we are overcome by pain and difficulties.

The following paragraphs paraphrase a few of her ideas about relaxing into the “groundlessness” we experience during certain painful, awkward, uncomfortable moments.

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Aug 07 / Simcha

The Power of Negative Thinking (O. Burkeman)

In a recent New York Times piece, Oliver Burkeman, author of the forthcoming book The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking, takes a look at the recent event in San Jose, CA, called Unleash the Power Within, starring motivational speaker Tony Robbins. Twenty-one people, committed to the belief of Mr. Robbins and his acolytes that “it’s all a matter of mind-set: cultivate the belief that success is guaranteed, and anything is possible,” were treated for burns after walking barefoot over hot coals.  The following is a selection from Burkeman’s piece.

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Aug 02 / Simcha

Reclaim Adulthood, Reclaim Passion (D. Schnarch)

Unlike marriage specialists Drs. John Gottman and Susan Johnson who speak of the importance of connection and attachment, psychologist David Schnarch focuses on differentiation and on balancing one’s individuality with being a couple. In the following selection from a longer article in Psychology Today (How to Grow Up, by Pam Weintraub, May 2012), Schnarch proposes a road map for becoming an authentic adult that is also a blueprint for putting passion back in relationships.

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